From Individualism to Collectivism: How Westerners Adapt to Communal Cultures

Feb 145 min read

Last month, I explored the experiences and challenges faced by individuals from collectivist cultures adapting to life in an individualistic Western society. Today, I’d like to flip the perspective and examine what it’s like for someone from a Western background to step into a collectivist culture. Along the way, we’ll also touch on the unique experiences of Third Culture Kids (TCKs), who grow up navigating multiple cultural identities.

When people from individualist cultures integrate into collectivist cultures.

Stepping into a collectivist culture from an individualistic Western background is like moving from a solo performance to a symphony. The rhythm changes, the cues are different, and the harmony depends on how well you listen and adapt. Whether through faith, marriage, or relocation, embracing collectivist values can be deeply enriching—but it also takes curiosity, openness, and a willingness to stretch beyond your comfort zone.

The Dance of Togetherness: Learning the New Social Rules

If you grew up in the West, where independence is prized, stepping into a collectivist environment can feel like learning a whole new language—one where relationships come first, and personal choices are made with the group in mind. Even languages of collectivist cultures are shaped around prioritizing collectivistic social structures! Studies show that embracing collectivist values can actually lower stress and boost overall well-being (Du et al., 2015).

In my work as a supervisor at Road to Recovery, I’ve supported therapists who initially struggled to connect with clients from collectivist backgrounds. One novice therapist took some time getting his head around understanding why his client who wouldn’t make big decisions without family input. By shifting his perspective—seeing this as a cultural norm rather than avoidance—they built trust, and the sessions became far more productive.

Quick Tip: Pay attention before jumping to conclusions. Some things don’t need “fixing”—they just need understanding.

Fact: People who successfully integrate into collectivist cultures often report stronger social support and less loneliness (The Influence of Culture and Society on Mental Health, 2001).

Faith as a Bridge: Finding Your Place Through Shared Beliefs

Religion is often more than just faith in collectivist cultures—it’s a built-in support system. Community prayers, shared meals, and rituals become an avenue for belonging.

Research suggests that Westerners who engage in communal worship in collectivist societies feel a greater sense of connection (regardless of reason: whether out of curiosity, respect or with the intention to adopt certain beliefs/practices) (Cohen, Wu & Miller, 2019).

I once had a Canadian client, an ESL teacher, who relocated to a Korea for work, and he found himself feeling quite isolated after the first few months. When he started attending local church gatherings and a couple of his students' weddings, something shifted. He built stronger friendships, found comfort in shared rituals, and started feeling at home in a way he hadn’t expected.

Quick Tip: Even if you’re not religious, attending community gatherings can be a great way to understand the culture and build relationships.

Fact: Studies show that group-based religious practices can reduce stress and improve mental health (Jones et al., 2022).

Love Across Cultures: Navigating Relationships and Expectations

Marrying into a collectivist culture is a crash course in balancing different worldviews—one that can be incredibly rewarding but also requires patience. A study on intercultural marriages found that couples who actively discuss cultural expectations tend to be happier (Jian Guan, 2011).

The core principle of Road to Recovery is helping people navigate these kinds of transitions. I have worked with multiple clients from Western backgrounds who felt overwhelmed by their in-laws’ deep involvement in their marriage. In fact, this love across cultures is getting increasingly common as we move into a transcultural era.

Through culturally informed therapy, they learned to see this as a sign of care rather than intrusion, and they found ways to set boundaries while honoring their partners' family traditions. It's a delicate and nuanced process, but it is possible!

Quick Tip: Talk early and often about family roles—assumptions can lead to frustration if left unspoken.

Fact: Couples who embrace both cultures in their relationship tend to develop stronger problem-solving skills and emotional resilience (Psychology Today).

Third Culture Kids: Raising Kids in a Blended World

If you’re raising kids in a mix of Western and collectivist cultures, or you are a Third Culture Kid (TCK) yourself— this might be of interest to you. (But first - a TCK is someone who grows up balancing multiple cultural identities). A review of TCK experiences found that while these kids tend to be adaptable, they also sometimes struggle with a clear sense of belonging (Jones et al., 2022 - seriously great paper if you are keen on this topic covering expats, missionary, military, cross cultural etc etc etc families).

Having worked with TCK clients and being a TCK myself, I know how important it is to have stable and informed support (and spaces!) where they can process their experiences. My book, The Culturally Informed Trauma Workbook, includes exercises specifically designed to help navigate cultural transitions and identity challenges.

Quick Tip: Encourage kids to embrace all parts of their heritage—language, traditions, and even food can be a way to feel connected.

Fact: TCKs often develop strong cross-cultural communication skills and high levels of empathy (TCKWorld).

The Mental Health Balancing Act: Finding Your Own Rhythm

Adapting to a collectivist culture doesn’t mean losing yourself—it means growing into new perspectives. While the sense of belonging can be comforting, there can also be pressure to conform. Finding your personal balance is key. Research on cultural influences on mental health highlights that self-awareness is essential in navigating these transitions (The Influence of Culture and Society on Mental Health, 2001 ).

As a supervising therapist, I’ve helped professionals reframe cultural adaptation as an opportunity rather than a sacrifice to existing ethnocentric psychological frameworks. We often find ways to expand, bend, tweak and adapt such frameworks to suit clients of this transcultural era! We are doing humanistic client-centered work after all.

Quick Tip: Find a mentor or a friend who understands both cultures—they can help you bridge the gap with insight and humor.

Fact: People who develop strong cultural adaptability skills report greater satisfaction in cross-cultural experiences (APA).

Growing Through Connection

Stepping into a collectivist culture isn’t about losing who you are—it’s about expanding your world.

Whether through faith, marriage, or career, this journey is one of learning, connection, and personal growth.

So, if you feel yourself contracting and holding on too tightly, get curious and ask yourself why that is. Is there a fear? If so, what of? If not, then what else is there?

And if you’re navigating a cultural transition, know that you don’t have to figure it all out alone. It's hard stuff. Whether through trusted friends, community, or resources like The Culturally Informed Trauma Workbook, support is out there. And remember—sometimes the most meaningful growth happens when you step beyond what’s familiar and embrace the beauty of something new.

P.S. I have included some great sources below and recommendations :)